Letting Go

This will be the hardest blog I have written thus far. Letting go...letting go of what? Letting go of the things or people we hold the closest. In my case, and I'm sure in most cases, this would be our children. I know I've already written about Peyton going to college and starting a new chapter in her life, but I want to share what God has shown me the last couple of weeks. 

 First off, I read a daily devotion called "Jesus Calling". Last week the devotion book was opened to the date August 23, which is this Friday. It was on the table beside where Poncho sits. Peyton curiously picked it up and read what it said. The 23rd was a week away, so why would he have opened it to see what it said on the 23rd? Because that is Peyton's move in day for college and Poncho is emotional about this as well. So first I want to share what the devotion said. This is absolutely amazing....and there is no way it is coincidental that this was written for this day. So here it is....

"Entrust your loved ones to Me; release them into My protective care. They are much safer with Me than in your clinging hands.  If you let a loved one become an idol in your heart, you endanger that one, as well as yourself. Remember the extreme measures I used with Abraham and Isaac. I took Isaac to the very point of death to free Abraham from son worship. Both Abraham and Isaac suffered terribly because of the father's undisciplined emotions. I detest idolatry , even in the form of parental love.

When you release loved ones to Me, you are free to cling to My hand. As you entrust others into My care, I am free to shower blessings on them. My presence will go with them wherever they go, and I will give them rest. This same presence stays with you, as you relax and place your trust in Me. Watch to see what I will do. "

Wow! Now I will be 100% honest....the story of Abraham and Isaac has always bothered me. I couldn't understand why God would ask Abraham to take his son whom he loved and ask him to sacrifice him. Even though God provided the ram to use as the sacrifice when He saw that Abraham was going to obey. As a Mom who loves her children with all her heart, it seemed mean to me. And my heart broke for Abraham, Isaac and Sarah who had longed for a child for so many years. The story ended well and God has revealed to me why He asked this of Abraham. 

I am guilty of being a child worshiper. I worship my children. They are my Idols. The Bible tells us in 1 Samuel 1 27-28 "I prayed for this child , and The Lord has granted me what I asked of Him. So now I give him to The Lord. For his whole life he will be given over to The Lord."

Our Children are a gift from God and they belong to Him. They are loaned to us for a short time on earth and our job is to raise them by God's instruction. When we release them, they should have been raised to where they are able to stand firm on their relationship with God and find their purpose here on earth to further The Kingdom of God. We are to love them, nurture them physically, emotionally, and most importantly spiritually. We cannot carry out God's purpose for their lives or ours if we put them before God. We must teach them He comes first. Because we are not able to love them the way we should without knowing The love of God first. 

My heart is beating so fast right now as I type these words because I know there is no harder task than this. Letting go is not something that just happens one day....it is a choice we have to make each and every day. Entrust your children to The Lord. They are His and as hard as it is to imagine....He loves them more than we ever could and He knows what is best for them. This is a hard truth to accept but it is just that....the truth. 

A little follow up from yesterday....What I learned from my 18 year old daughter

I will not be blogging everyday...unless it is what God intends for me to do.  But the last few days so much has happened and I feel led to share.

The man that stole Peyton's wallet was caught today.  Since she is now considered an "adult" all contact from the Detective was made straight to her.  Any decisions made were to be made by her.  Today the Detective called and told her they had caught the man and wanted to know if she wanted to press charges.  I could see the uncertainty in her eyes as she struggled with her decision.  Her first question..."How much trouble will he be in?" (not much) second question...Does he have young children? (no).  Third question, can I talk to him? (no because we do not want any confrontation).  She said there would be no confrontation, she wanted the chance to share the gospel with this man.  Still the answer was no.  She did press charges because she felt since he would not do jail time and just a short time of probation, that maybe he would learn from this and think before he committed any larger crimes.  She asked if she could bring a letter for the detective to give to the man and the detective said He would love to give him the letter.  She stopped at the store, got the man a bible and stuck this letter in it.  I am not bragging or think I have perfect children...I think actions speak louder than words and nobody wants to hear me talk about how "great" I think they are.  But this had to be shared because it is the greatest example of what is truly important and what is not important.  To Peyton, his eternity was what was most important.  This is her letter....

First off I just wanted to tell you a little bit about myself. I am a young girl who is about to begin college in the fall. My dad has been out of work for the past 2 years due to foot surgeries from a previous car accident. My family has been struggling financially for the past two years. I worked all summer and was saving up to help buy the rest of my stuff for college. I have grown up in a small church my whole life and I depend on the Lord for everything. There isn’t a day that goes by that the Lord doesn’t bless me. I just want you to know that I am not angry at you, and I forgive you. You may not even be sorry or want my forgiveness, but I just feel like you should know that I do forgive you. I’m not sure about your spiritual beliefs or if you even have any. So I just want to take a minute and share with you the love of Jesus Christ. John 3:16 says “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son that who ever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” God sent his son to die on a cross so that my sin, your sin, and all of man’s sin can be forgiven. Because of His GREAT sacrifice that was made we are able to have a one on one relationship with God. Once we ask Jesus to come into our heart and be the master of our life our whole world will be turned around! We no longer have to face trials in life alone; we have a God that carries us through everything. When we have that relationship and pray and ask God for forgiveness the Bible says that He casts our sins “as far as the east is from the west”. The most rewarding part about the relationship with God is knowing that we get to spend an eternity in Heaven with our Savior. Three days after Jesus was crucified he ascended into Heaven and today he sits at the right hand of God. You may think it’s crazy that someone would write a letter saying they forgive you, but My God forgives me everyday for my sins. I don’t think you’re a bad person; I just think you made a bad choice. Next time you think about taking someone’s wallet, just remember it’s more than a wallet, there’s a person with a story behind the wallet. I wish you nothing but the best in life. God Bless!

I believe this says it all.....

Angels on Earth....PLEASE READ THIS!

Yesterday Peyton and I headed on an adventure to pick up the rest of her things needed for college.  We started out at the The Leeds Flea Market and ended up at the Moody and Leeds Police station.  Not exactly what we had planned.  Someone stole Peyton's wallet while we were at The Leeds Flea Market, which had two visa debit cards, her driver's license, Social Security Card, Student ID and $107.00 cash.  We went to Regions to close the account and the person had swiped the card for $66.00 and $74.50.  This may not seem like a lot, but to someone who is a soon to be college student it was everything.  Peyton sat in Regions and cried because she just couldn't understand how someone could be so mean.  After I called the person a few choice words...(sorry Dwayne and rest of the church and mostly God), I remembered what I had blogged about praying for our enemies.  We had to pray for this person, because obviously they needed it.  We also have to forgive.  So we had to put the walk to our talk.  Not easy....but doable. And we chalk this up as a lesson in life.  A lesson that I do not believe God put us through, but nonetheless was waiting to see our reaction.  I let him down with my anger, but slowly began to think about my words earlier in the week.  We forgive and will pray for this person.

Now, this is not a blog about "oh feel sorry for Peyton"....because we know God always provides! ALWAYS!  And when He shows out, it is a beautiful thing to watch! He sends kind people that I like to think of as angels on earth.  We have met our share of angels in the past 12 years.  It blesses my heart all the time!  I wish to be one of these kind people and will work harder at being a servant. So our angel today chose to remain anonymous.  Not looking for recognition, not looking for a personal thank you.

My mother in law works at the Odenville Utility Board.  Someone dropped off an envelope before they opened in the drop box.  It was addressed to Mrs. Brasher and read "Please call Kim and ask her to pick this up for Peyton Brasher.  You just have to love a small town.....where else could I live that I could "drop something off at the Water Board to be delivered?" Inside the envelope, was $107.00 cash and a pearl bracelet.  I believe the pearl bracelet was to be used for her in clown school, because she had mentioned she wanted her clown name to be "Pearl" because she always loves to wear pearls.  

Wow!!!! That's all I can say! As the tears fall, not from the $107.00 but from the heart behind the gift.  Thank you! Thank you for showing God' love and being an example I can share with my kids and anyone that may read this! You will NEVER know what this means to us!  You are truly an "Angel on Earth".  

Jesus Loves Me This I Know

As you look at the picture below, I know you can barely see it, but under where the  flowers are we had music notes and the words "Jesus Loves Me" inscribed on Blair's grave. We had those words put on there because we had this wonderful memory of her when she was 3 going up to the pulpit at church and getting on the microphone (which was turned off) and singing with every little piece of her soul...

"Jesus Loves Me".  It was such a sweet moment because as she sang it, you could see that she truly believed every word.  It was sang beautifully with a pure heart. 2 points I want to make by sharing this. First one.....Do we go to God with a child like faith. A faith where the world has not clouded us with doubts and distractions?  In Matthew chapter 19 Jesus said "Truly I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the Kingdom of Heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven." What does this mean? It means that when we were children, we depended on our parents for everything. They had to feed us, clothe us, take care of our bumps and bruises, and mostly just love us. We needed all of these things. As we grow older, we become more "self sufficient". At times we feel that we don't need anyone. We got this right? Isn't that what our parent's job was? To make sure we were prepared for this world and ready to take it on by ourselves?  Sometimes as adults we can become too self-sufficient. And we forget our Heavenly Father supplies all of our needs. He provides our food, our clothes, he is The Great Physician that not only takes care of our physical "bumps and bruises" but also our broken hearts. He loves us... and He wants us to love and depend on Him with "childlike faith".

Second point is this....when Blair sang that day she knew without a doubt that Jesus loved her. Can we say the same about ourselves? When we sing praises to Our Lord are we really crying out to Him? Or are we just singing some words that are on a page or a screen? The next time we have the privilege to sing praises to Our Father....let's sing it like we believe EVERY word of it! The words may be simple in the song Jesus loves me....but the message is powerful! Thank God He loves me!!!!  

Praying For Our Enemies

Okay guys, I know y'all can feel me on this one.  I'm not sure about all of you, but I have always had this overwhelming need of acceptance.  I hate conflict and want everyone to like me.  But when there is conflict, I have a tendency to want to get back at the ones who have hurt me.  So as I was dealing with a situation, I began to look through the Bible hoping to find something that could make me feel "better".  Something that will make me feel justified for the anger or hurt I feel.  So I flip to the back of my  Bible and I start looking for verses that will tell me what I WANT to hear.  Time and time again....I find the same thing.  "You shall not take vengeance, not bear any grudge against the sons of your people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself." Leviticus 19:18.    And yet again and again we are commanded to not only love one another, but also to love our enemies.  Matthew 5:44 says "But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you." What? So I not only have to love them, but pray for them too!  Frustrated I closed my bible and started praying.  I woke up the next morning and  thought I had received  a revelation through the night....I remembered somewhere in the Bible it said something about an "eye for an eye and tooth for a tooth".  I hurriedly found that verse and hate to admit it, but was a little disappointed that this did not not mean I could go scratch someone's eyes out.   As I studied this verse, I learned this statement in the Old Testament was applied only to punishment for serious crimes, like assault (this does not include back biting or rolling of the eyes), and was not to be carried out by individuals , but only through the judicial system.  I had heard this verse so many times growing up and it was used out of context.   We have taken this verse and twisted it to justify our actions and feelings.  I wonder how much of God's word we have picked apart and tried to make it fit to make us comfortable.  God's word gives us the standards He wants us to live by. Don't try to change it and make it comfortable, because sometimes it just isn't.  Sometimes it is very uncomfortable.  Sometimes it tells us things we don't necessarily want to hear.  Why? Because He loves us.  He knows what is best for us.  He knows if we fight evil with evil, no one wins.  He knows we are freed by forgiving others and when we pray for our enemies, we are releasing ourselves from bondage.  So today...I pray for my enemies.  This does not mean I am a doormat for people to walk on, it simply means I try to see them as God's children also.  As much as I hate to admit it, He loves them just as much as He loves me.  I am not perfect either.  I have hurt others also.  I hurt God everyday by sinning against Him.   But every day I am granted New Mercies!  Praise God! And my need for acceptance from others is slowly becoming less of a necessity.  I have an Almighty Father in heaven who accepts me for me.  Not only does He accept me but 1 John Chapter 3 tells me that I am a child of God! Through the good, bad, and the ugly....He has chosen to be My Father!  That my friends, is all the acceptance I need!

Everything we do should be for the Glory of God

Today I was asked by my Pastor's wife if it would be alright if they added my blog to a link on our church's website.  At first I thought, "what?" but quickly answered yes.  I began to think what in the world could I say every time I blog that would interest people from the Church or anyone else for that matter.  Do they really care to see pictures of Peyton and Braden every few days?  I started blogging for an outlet.  A place to put my feelings into words and maybe later look back and see what I was feeling during certain phases of my life.  Or to look back at pictures of my family and friends and reminisce of past times.  As I was thinking about this, I remembered what our Pastor (Dwayne) spoke on today.  I won't go into complete detail, because what I am trying to say just touches on part of what he preached about.  So what I am going to concentrate on in this blog is this....Everything we do should be for the Glory of God.  Everything should point to Him!  I told Laurie (my Pastor's wife)...y'all sure about this? Ya'll know I get kinda crazy sometimes and might say something I shouldn't.  Her answer was simple...just be honest.  Anyone who knows me, knows I do not have a problem with honesty.  I am the same person at church that I am at home...and it is not always pretty.  Okay, back to the point I was trying to make...My blog is about my life.  So if my life is pointing others to Christ, I should have nothing to worry about.  But let's face it...my life does not always point others to Him.  I try, but fail miserably at times.  My hope is this...I want to write about my daily life, but most of all I want to write what God puts on my heart.  So like  Dwayne said today, if I go to the grocery store and later feel the need to blog about it...I pray that when I was shopping or checking out or passing the friendly greeter that it was "For the Glory of God."  He said that no matter what we do or where we go it should point others to Him.  Yes, that's even at Wal-Mart!  Sometimes that isn't so easy.  Especially for me, who lacks some of the fruit of self control.  Sometimes I get James 1:19 confused and instead of being quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry...I do exactly the opposite.  My prayer is this...I want to be convicted every time I am a "stumbling block".  I want to do EVERYTHING for the glory of our God.  And I am asking my friends, co-workers, family, and church family to lovingly remind me of this wonderful verse..."So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God." 1 Corinthians 10:31

Learning to be Thankful during "trials"

I read a devotion and it was titled "Thankfulness opens the door to My Presence."  What does this mean?  It is easy to be thankful when things are going as we think they should.  When all is "well" with the world.  But if that were the only time we were to offer Thanks, the Lord would definitely be short changed.  Poncho's Granny would often say if trouble isn't already at your door, it's coming.  Not to sound like a Debby Downer, but we are all faced with trials at one point or another.

I learned to thank God in the midst of trials when I lost my daughter 12 years ago.  Someone told me as I was going through this horrible time to Praise God.  I'm sure I looked at them like they had lost their mind, but I soon learned to do this.  Believe it or not, I began to feel peace as I learned to praise him in my storm.  What could I have possibly been thankful for during this time?  I was thankful for the people he sent me everyday to care for my family or just to offer an encouraging word.  I was thankful for the outpouring of support from a loving community we call Odenville, AL.  I was thankful for my church family.  I was thankful for mine and Poncho's parents, who stepped up and took over despite the fact that they were grieving also. I was thankful for the loving extended family who loved me through this.  I was thankful that my precious husband and other two children were spared. I was thankful for my 5 best friends from childhood who walked with me each step of the way.  I was thankful for the phone call I received at least 5 times a day from a friend, who had to just make sure I was hanging on.  I was thankful for the nurse who prayed with us during Poncho's hospital stay.  I was thankful for all the other "angels" He sent our way.  Most of all, I was thankful for His strong yet loving hands that carried me through this time.  My list could go on and on.

My point is this...we may not always like what is happening in our lives.  No one loves to go through trials. But suffering is what molds us into the people we are.  We grow in the valley.  We learn to depend on Him.  We depend on Him through good times and bad.  So when things are going good remember "Every good and perfect gift is from above coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows." James 1:17.  And when things are going "not so great" remember "We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength and character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation."  Romans 3:3-4.  Our God deserves to be praised no matter what our circumstances are.  I promise,  Praising Him will set you free!