I am the mother of an 18 year old girl who will soon be going off to college and a 13 year old boy who will forever be my baby. I also have a daughter in heaven named Blair who was killed in a car accident 12 years ago. I have a step-son named Josh and a beautiful daughter in law who has recently blessed me with 2 grand babies and a 3rd on the way. I have been married to the love of my life for almost 20 years. Time flies!
I titled this one as "The summer I began to find myself again" because anyone who knows me knows I am so wrapped up in my kids that I began to lose who I was. Not that it is a bad thing to be completely involved with your children, but my involvement was more like a dependency. It's easy to fall into and sometimes I believe when we depend on our children for every bit of joy in our lives it can sometimes be overwhelming for them. My daughter Peyton has always has been my "best friend". Not to the point where it took the place of me being her mother, but we have always had a special bond. I have depended on her for everything the past eighteen years. By this I mean I could barely go to the grocery store without her. She has been my sidekick for eighteen years and now I am faced with her leaving and starting her new life at college. I have prayed about this and dreaded the day. But as I have prayed, God has placed new things and opportunities in my life. He is showing me things I never thought I could do and I am actually enjoying them. For instance, he has given me a hobby that two years ago I would have laughed and thought "I could never do that." I am enjoying things I never imagined I could enjoy. I clean my Church weekly and of course have always had my helper. Now I actually enjoy doing it alone. (A little help now and then is nice). I put my earphones on and listen to praise and worship on Pandora and have Church with the best worship ever as I am mopping floors and cleaning toilets! I have learned that there is a season for everything. Although I will miss my sweet girl more than anything, I am learning to find myself again. Braden my son will keep me busy with all of his sports and it is nice to be able to devote the time I had to once share. This summer I have learned to find joy in things I once dreaded. Instead of looking at a chapter closing, I am looking at a new chapter with Peyton. One that is filled with so many wonderful opportunities for her. She will be attending clown school starting in August and will be a volunteer clown at Children's Hospital. She will be meeting new people and learning things that can only be taught through experience. I am actually excited to see her spread her wings and start her new journey! Now this is not to say that I may not be able to get out of the bed a few days after she leaves, but hey, it's a start right! God has once again stepped in and took the wheel. Praise Him for answered prayers. I would be nothing but a mess without His guidance.
